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degenerossi:

Portia is always right

(via ellenandportiatruelove)

fandom-sandwich:

fudgeflies:

if i was harry, i would have stuck a letter down the front of my pants and ran out on the front lawn bc

  1. the dursleys aren’t gonna chase me and cause a scene, it’d upset their pristine reputation
  2. if they DID chase me out, they’d have to put their hand down my pants to get to the letter and i’d just start screaming STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER and fuck up their repuation for real

you would kill voldemort in first year at that rate

(via carryonstarkid)

matociquala:

damngruchy:

supermassiveasshole:

i was teaching my grandma to use computer so we can talk on skype and such but today she went kinda mad at me because “i didnt show her the knitting programme” and i was like what

and it comes out she accidentally opened ms excel and found out its a great way to create knitting patterns

image

my grandma is 82

image

The street finds its own uses.

(Source: supermassiveasshole, via zanetheaiden)

wimpytav:

stop-turning-into-a-penguin:

krikorjabotian:

me in chemistry class

image

 unstable and not fully understood yet.

i’M IN MY

eLEMENT

(Source: tsav, via hi)

cocaineshorty:

stacksbreadup:

This deadass the funniest tweet ever.

oh my god

(via lalatinamasgringa)

wreckitrach:

"you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you"

finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever

(Source: theawolbrony, via okaymaybealittlehomo)

15-Year-Old African Kid Tells Madonna To Go ‘Have Sex’ with Herself »

almightykushlord:

Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told , one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to  and f*** , the local media are reporting exclusively.

“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.

In further discussions with journalists from the media, the  stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”

“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.

The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.

“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.

THIS IS THE RAWEST 15 YEAR OLD ALIVE

(via lalatinamasgringa)